|Posted by Suzanne on November 29, 2009 at 10:23 AM|
I have been diabetic a very long time. When I was first diagnosed, my mom and dad helped me with shots and tests for the first year. After that they were not involved other than shopping for food for me, they believed it was my job to manage the disease. This was a blessing and a curse all at the same time for me. I get that they were trying to teach me to be independent and be able to manage diabetes by myself but it made it very difficult for me to ask for help when I needed it. Over the years I never asked anyone to help me, even when I really needed help.
Fast forward to about two and a half years ago. Not taking care of my diabetes finally caught up with me and I became seriously ill. My poor husband wanted to help me get control of my diabetes and I pushed him away, telling him "I can do this, I don't need your help!" He watched me struggle to get control of testing, eating, and shifting my diabetes care focus. And he stood by me, ready to help with anything at all if I would just ask. But I didn't ask. Then I got the pump. He learned how it worked, read all the documentation, and gave me the space I demanded since I wanted to do it all by myself. I guess I hadn't realized that my diabetes was a family issue, it didn't just belong to me.
When I got the DexCom last spring, once again I didn't want any help. I could master this on my own. My husband watched helplessly as I got angry over pump and CGMS issues, biting his tongue and letting me rant. A few months ago I was reading some old blog posts of Kerri's over at Six Until Me. She had pictures of her DexCom sensor in her arm and she said her husband helped her put them there. My poor abdomen needed a rest from sensors so I decided it was time to ask for help. I asked my hubby to put a sensor on my arm for me. I think he understood how hard it was for me to ask for help.
So the first attempt at my hubby putting a sensor into my arm didn't go well. He was nervous, I was really impatient and kind of mean to him. Don't get me wrong, the sensor worked fine but I was terrible to him! We don't fight often but we did fight that day. I thought alot about why I was so angry with him when he didn't do anything wrong. That is when I realized how hard it was for me to ask for help. We talked it out and I promised the next time I would be aware of my behavior. So yesterday we tried it again and guess what? When I relaxed and just let him help me, the sensor insertion went fine! I thanked him for being patient with me and understanding. I am starting to get how much my diabetes is part of his life too.
So do you find it hard to ask for help? Do you get angry sometimes? I would love to get your feedback!
You can be 1happydiabetic too, it's all about your attitude!