Diabetes Blog
It's All About The Attitude...
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I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend I call "the angry diabetic." Let me tell you a bit about this friend. He is a smart, savvy guy with a BIG chip on his shoulder about his diabetes. He is 40 years old and has had diabetes for about 30 years now. He is a pumper yet does not carb count properly or test often enough. He is always angry about anything going on in his life and usually he finds a way to blame diabetes for this anger. Often he says it's not fair he has diabetes (I agree, it's not fair any of us have diabetes), diabetes holds him back (I disagree, he holds himself back in life), and being diabetic makes him a "loser." In fact, he has told me more than once that all diabetics are losers. I for one am no loser! His negativity and anger about his diabetes colors his whole life and world. It affects his relationships and his health (he often gets so angry at small things that his blood sugar shoots into the 300s which then makes him madder!).
Yesterday I expressed my concerns to my friend. I explained I wanted to be his friend but the negative attitude that he always has was wearing me down. It bothered me to see him suffer. He explained to me that he feels he has no control in his life because he is diabetic. He is depressed most of the time. He feels alone, like no one understands how he feels. When we hang out, he gets angry if my blood sugar is in target and his is not. He realizes that his depression is out of hand but feels hopeless, like things will never get better. He acknowledges that his attitude about diabetes "sucks."
When I returned home, I started thinking about how much the attitude you have about your diabetes can shape how you live your life, as well as how much control you have in your diabetes care. Diabetics are at risk for depression, just as anyone who deals with a chronic illness is. Let's face it, having diabetes sucks. It is not fun watching every morsel of food that you eat, logging, calculating insulin dosages, and sometimes having to stop doing something you enjoy because your blood sugar is low or high. Even when you do everything right, sometimes your diabetes still does not cooperate! Add depression to the day to day grind of diabetes and your attitude will do a downwards spiral!
You do have control about your attitude towards your diabetes, even if sometimes it doesn't feel that way. A bad attitude puts you in a bad mood, setting you up for a bad day. It becomes a vicious cycle like my friend is stuck in. Does that mean you should be little miss/mister sunshine all the time? No one can be super upbeat all the time, that is unrealistic! It?s about balance and acceptance of diabetes. If you are feeling like you have a bad attitude towards diabetes, reach out to others. Talk to your doctor, friends, or family. Speak to people online at social networking sites. If you are feeling depressed, talk to your doctor immediately. Depression can suck motivation and positive attitudes right out of you.
So what do you do to change your attitude to a more positive one? Do you struggle with keeping a positive attitude? What do people in your life do to help you keep a positive attitude? I?d love to get your feedback!
Suzanne
PS-My friend is going to talk to his doctor about his antidepressant medication and he is considering going to therapy. Let's keep our fingers crossed for him!
Categories: Living With Diabetes, Mental Health, Coping Skills
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13 Comments
?The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.? (by Charles Swindoll)
A great example of this happened on Friday. I took a trip to PA with my wife and family. On the way up we stopped at the rest stop and had some lunch. I had Sbarros pizza. (I know, pizza... I should have seen it coming). About 2 hours later when we got to the resort my BG was about 250. I was so grouchy and in the worst mood for almost the rest of the day. I barely talked, I was mean to my wife and parents. I knew I was going to be eating crazy at the resort, so I was hoping for at least a good starting point. I got over it about 5 hours later when it was 92.
That being said, I manged to keep myself between 75-185 the whole trip (which for the food they serve up there, I was estatic!!!!).
I am trying to let those things be, and realize that I will have these days. It is tough though!!!!
I wish all the best for your friend!!!!
Kenny Kellner says...
Well I have to be honest.. I am by no means a depressed person. I usually always have a positive outlook on things.. With that said, I have to admit that sometimes I let high's get to me and sometimes take it out on the people who love me the most.
A great example of this happened on Friday. I took a trip to PA with my wife and family. On the way up we stopped at the rest stop and had some lunch. I had Sbarros pizza. (I know, pizza... I should have seen it coming). About 2 hours later when we got to the resort my BG was about 250. I was so grouchy and in the worst mood for almost the rest of the day. I barely talked, I was mean to my wife and parents. I knew I was going to be eating crazy at the resort, so I was hoping for at least a good starting point. I got over it about 5 hours later when it was 92.
That being said, I manged to keep myself between 75-185 the whole trip (which for the food they serve up there, I was estatic!!!!).
I am trying to let those things be, and realize that I will have these days. It is tough though!!!!
I wish all the best for your friend!!!!
Not that it is funny but I am on vacation now and I forgot how are it is to stay in a good range. I am watching my BG closely and things are good. I little high for me, but that's OK. I am adjusting from not being active like laying on the beach. So I am happy, but it has been more work for me. I am out of my routine in a way.
But what is great is this, forum. Because everyone is writing about thier experiences and it has helped me so far. Suzanne did a video on what to pack for supplies, there was a blog about a waterpark and what to do... not knowing that I might go to a waterpark this week.
Just great stuff! Thanks to everyone
Some people have other problems than the type 1 diabetes and, then, there are people who do not realize how seriouis type 1 is. A fellow who used to do work on my husband's prostheses was here last night. I downloaded some graphs from the carelink site, but, in general, he didn't seem too interested in how a person without hands controls his bg. I gird my loins again. I guess I will coach the nursing students about type 1 diabetes, the insulin pump, the CGMS, hypoglycemic unawareness and so on and so forth until people are paying attention.
You also have to realize how people there are who cannot afford to control their diabetes. I corresponded with a Canadian of Chinese origin about type 1 in China. She said that the insulin there was very expensive and someone told her he smashed open the vial to get the last few drops. That's preposterous, of course! I do believe that people without good benefits are skipping testing and, probably, running high a lot.
In my blackest moments, I wonder if a husband dropping dead at your feet leaving you with an 3 mo old daughter and a 5 year old son is the worst thing that can happen to you. I know of a family whose father/husband passed away exactly like that. Sometimes, my son gets angry that his father has the health issues he has, but that's life! Things could always be worse. Happy bg testing! Here's to a life without complicatons! That's when the do-do hits the fan, I guess--when complications start to appear.
Janet Ballone says...
I am a Jenny Craig Consultant and I hear more horror stories about my client's health in one day then most doctors. Yes, we suffer with diabetes but ya know, I'd rather be me than some of these people who have cancer, lung diseases, etc. At least we have the choice to control our disease where many other people have no choice. One of my clients has terrible asthma and MOST of the time it's very difficult for her to breathe and she said she'd trade with me in a second just to be able to breathe. So yes, we all suffer with diabetes and a few good cries can relieve some of that fear and depression but it is what it is and the sooner we all realize that, the easier our lives will be. I've watched a few people die from lung cancer and I'm greatful for the life I have.
I see all your points and you're right... when your BG is cooperating and you can afford everything you need to control Diabetes, it's not so bad. I never had to take care of a child who has diabetes and the pain and anquish of people who cannot "afford" this disease is beyond my comprehension.
I'm lucky I have the insurance to cover my meds and pump. This is a life/death disease, everyone somehow should be covered for the expenses. I wish we could change that.
Janet Ballone says...
Hi Dianna,
I see all your points and you're right... when your BG is cooperating and you can afford everything you need to control Diabetes, it's not so bad. I never had to take care of a child who has diabetes and the pain and anquish of people who cannot "afford" this disease is beyond my comprehension.
I'm lucky I have the insurance to cover my meds and pump. This is a life/death disease, everyone somehow should be covered for the expenses. I wish we could change that.
I feel the same way. I've only been here a short while but I've learned a lot and it's certainly nice to know we're not alone. Not that I wish this on anyone else but it's wonderful to share ideas, concerns, fears, and feelings. :-)
I think you have to control your blood glucose, too, though. If you keep your bg in normal range, you will not have the temper tantrums, the tiredness, or weariness we associate with high bg levels. I speak from experience. My husband the diabetic used to have temper tantrums, sleep most of the weekends and go to bed early and get up late and never be easy to arouse. Once he got control of his bg all that changed. Now, he's energetic, lively, and never tired. A new man. Or the guy I married. I wouldn't use alcohol or antidepresants to paper over the cracks caused by uncontrolled bg levels all the time. I'd use the internet to find out about the latest technology to improve my bg. I'd use the internet to lobby the government to pay for this expensive equipment. I'd find out new techniques to make te maintenance of my good bg levels as easy as possible. By all means, network on the internet, but use it as a learning tool too.
Have a good day.
Happy bg levels.
I used to feel upset that I was a diabetic. Now that I have made friends online and can socialize with other people that are going through the same thing that I am, I feel happy that I am diabetic. It can still be hard some days, but that is when I turn to the internet. Gee, I don't know what I would do If I were diognosed befoe the 21st century! Anyhow, I think online diabetes communities really helps me out with me keeping a good aditude. I hope for the best for your friend.
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