25

25.... Not a big number, yet not a small number. It is a significant number for me this December as this is the year I celebrate 25 years with diabetes. I don't actually know or remember the day I was diagnosed with diabetes. I know it was in December 1986, after my mother's birthday on the 10th and before Christmas. I remember the way the hospital smelled, that I was put on the children's ward even though at age 13 I felt I should be on the adult ward, and I remember the doctor telling my parents to go buy me a case of diet sodas from the gift shop as I needed to drink a ton of fluids for my blood sugar to come down.  I remember the doctors talking to my parents as if I was not there, telling them I would not live to age 30 and I would never have children.  I remember feeling very alone and very scared as visiting hours ended and I was left in a room by myself.  I remember thinking that my life was over before it had a chance to begin.

When I look back at that scared 13 year old girl, I think about how I began my diabetic journey feeling like it didn’t matter what I did, no matter the good or bad choices, I was  doomed.  I look back over some of the choices I made or avoided and I wonder how it might have been different if I hadn’t been diagnosed with diabetes mellitus, AKA  type 1 diabetes.  I think about all the things I was afraid to try doing because I used diabetes as my excuse.  Then I think about the fact that I would not be the awesome person I am today if I had not gotten that diagnosis so many years ago.  I wouldn’t have been forced to be so tough and resilient.  

Not many people know all the details of my journey with this chronic condition.  Some of the details are ugly and some of them are magical.    Although I can be cynical about many things, I am also a hopeful person who always can see the possibilities.  I still hope for a cure someday.  I still get excited when I see another diabetic following their dreams and they don’t let diabetes stop them.  I still am here, chasing my own dreams, not letting diabetes define what I can’t do.  I can do anything I want, I just have to plan and prep a bit more than a non diabetic.  And I am a pretty good planner after 25 years of practice

So as we say goodbye to 2011, let’s all remember, it’s all about your attitude!   I think I will go have a cupcake to celebrate all that is possible with diabetes in my life.

Oh Twitter, how I have missed thee!  I bought a fancy smart phone to tweet, anytime and place, yet I allowed my hectic schedule to keep me from logging in.  Oh what to do now?  I cannot even remember my password anymore! 

OK, so here is the deal. I used to be the Twitter Queen and I was able to stay in touch with my DOC buddies all the time.  I let life get in the way and at first I stopped tweeting during the day but I would tweet at night and on the weekends.  Then I got too busy at night with paperwork for my job and late night therapy sessions in homes so I stopped tweeting at night. Weekends were for catching up on chores, work, and clinical supervision so no more tweeting on the weekends  DSMA started and because I wasn’t connecting to the DOC in anyway anymore, I didn’t even know about it at first!  Cherise of DSMA is my friend so this was indication of how disconnected I had become, I wasn’t even talking to her regularly!

I have decided no more! I must reconnect with Twitter. But how should I do it?  Just jump right back in?  Let the site being announced be my catalyst?  Make a Facebook post saying I am coming back? What to do?  I have to admit, I feel embarrassed for being so connected and then just disappearing off the face of the earth.   All those connections severed and so many new people in the DOC who I haven't even met yet, I feel kind of intimidated to even try to come back.

So keep an eye out for me on Twitter, I am coming back soon!   I just need to figure out how I can reconnect in a realistic way for my life.  I can’tbe online all the time, it just won’t work for me.  I have to find a balance so I am really looking at how I spend my time, during the day at work and when I am home so I can be realistic in the way I tweet this time. 

It's all about your attitude,

Suzanne

Musterbation! I bet I got your attention there!  I love this term!  Musterbation is defined as a rigid thought pattern characterized by the tendency to impose absolutist expectations ononeself.  This term was coined by Albert Ellis who was the father of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and was known for his often confrontational style with clients.  As I learned about this man and his theories of psychotherapy, I understood his theories in a real and personal way.  I realized that I often have been irrational in my thinking about my diabetes, my attitude towards my diabetes, and my treatment of my diabetes. 

One of my favorite quotes by Albert Ellis is "There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy."  So let's look at this quote in relation to diabetes...This is a loaded statement for anyone, but especially a diabetic. What are some of the diabetic musts we tell ourselves?  Here is a list of my irrational, musturbatory beliefs that I catch myself telling myself.

I must have a good blood sugar.

I must always have perfect control, all the time.

I must do everything right with eating and exercise.

I must be a perfect diabetic.

I must be able to control all the variables in my life that affect my diabetes.

This diabetes thing should be easy to control.

I should never eat cake/cookies/candy/treats ever again, I'm diabetic.

I should know all the answers already, I've been diabetic for over 20 years!

My diabetes absolutely must behave in the way I expect it to.

Things should be easy when it comes to my diabetes!

So what am I doing when I tell myself these thoughts?  I am being rigid and I am expecting something unreasonable about myself and my diabetes. I am putting myself into a no win situation.  As we well know, diabetes is neither predictable nor constant!  I am getting better at fighting these thoughts and being reasonable with myself as time goes by.  Connecting with other diabetics online and in person helps me be more real and honest with myself.

So what are your musts, shoulds, or oughts?  What do you do to deal with them?

You can be 1happydiabetic too-it's all about your attitude,

Suzanne

Our buddies over at TuDiabetes are currently running a "Making Sense of Diabetes" video contest. They are seeking video entries that tell about the impact diabetes has on our lives through one of the five senses: sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell. 

Check out the contest today HERE. What a fun way to express yourself!

Click HERE to see Bill's video entry on sight

National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week

September 14-20, 2009

My pal Crystal, over at PUMPedUP, did a post yesterday about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. She was inspired to do this list from another blogger, Rachel, so I am going to follow their lead!

30 Things About My Invisible IllnessYou May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is: Type 1 Diabetes

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1986

3. But I had symptoms since: October 1986

4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: being and adult and really taking care of myself, not living in denial.

5. Most people assume: I did or ate something wrong to get diabetes. That and I must have been a "fat kid" so that is why I ended up with diabetes.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Waking up!

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Dr. G, it's morbid but I can't help it,LOL

8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: Blood glucose meter.

9. The hardest part about nights are: making it through the night without having a low blood sugar.

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins: 8 pills but no vitamins. Gotta love getting additional autoimmune disorders because of diabetes

11. Regarding alternative treatments: I have not tried anything.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: That's not really a choice, no one should have an illness. But since Ineed to put an answer here, I would choose an invisible illness.

13. Regarding working and career: diabetes adds a layer of complexity just because you never get a break from it. So whether things are going smooth or stressful at work, your diabetes is there and being affected.

14. People would be surprised to know: I'm not as put together as I seem!

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: many years of denial and poor self care preceded my born again status of being a "compliant" diabetic. Letting go of the anger I felt all the time about how unfair having diabetes is was the hardest thing. Not to say that the anger doesn?t sometimes show its ugly face every now and then.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: complete my education.

17. The commercials about my illness: are so off the mark, no wonder most people don't understand diabetes! By the way, can we have a real blood sugar number on that meter please? Not the diabetes nirvana number of 103?

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: eating without thinking about what the carb count is of the food I am about to eat.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: when I was diagnosed way back in the day I was told I could not eat anything with sugar in it. There were few sugar free choices and no one carb counted back then. Needless to say I didn't really give up the candy, cakes, & cookies, I just got good at sneaking them.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: I have had lots of hobbies since age 13 so I don't have a witty comment for this one 

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: go to Orlando and go to all the theme parks, ride all the rides, eat all the junk food, and finish off the day with a fancy meal and cocktails!

22. My illness has taught me: I can do anything I put my mind to, anything!

23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is: You know, if you just stopped eating carbs and took this herbal treatment you wouldn't have to take insulin anymore.

24. But I love it when people: let me get my plate first at get togethers! I use to hate this because it made me feel like I was different or defective but now I realize I am special and I get first pick of all the goodies on the table, LOL

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:  There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy. - Albert Ellis

26. When someone is diagnosed I'd like to tell them: You are not alone, connect with others online or in your town through the ADA or JDRF. Isolating yourself makes it harder to deal with diabetes.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How capable I am of truly managing this illness. I was also surprised how much easier it got to manage when I connected with other diabetics online and in person.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: Gaveme a long, awesome hug.

29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I am not embarrassed by diabetes anymore and I realize that isolating ones self, does not work.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Honored, truly honored.

Be Happy,

Suzanne

Diabetes is a serious chronic illness, we all know that.  But does that mean we have to be doom and gloom all the time?  Heck no!  That is part of why www.1happydiabetic.com exists.  It is to remind you that life is too short to not just let loose and laugh yourself silly sometimes.  We have all heard the saying "laughter is the best medicine" and there is truth to that. Laughter can relax you, reduce stress, help your immune system and more. So it should be part of your health care regimen

So today I bring you pictures that make me laugh that are related to the big D.  Visit Our Photo Gallery HERE to see more funny diabetes pictures and add your own today!

Don?t forget we also have a video section that is dedicated to diabetes humor.  Check it out HERE and feel free to add your own videos or videos that made you laugh!

Be Happy,

Suzanne

Hello everyone!

My question to you iswhat have you done for yourself today?  What have you done  for self care?  Self care is usually associated with health care providers but it really applies to anyone.  Self care is defined as doing things that recharge your mind, body, and soul.  This can be as simple as taking a few minutes alone to listen to a song that has meaning for you, petting your cat or dog, going for a walk, having your favorite chewing gum,ect....It is different for everyone.  Life is busy and often keeps uson the run with work, responsibilties, families, and of course our diabetes care.  Everyday you should take a few minutes and do what works for you to recharge your batteries!  Taking a few minutes each day to take care of yourself is not selfish, in fact, it is the opposite of selfish!  Taking care of yourself mentally will allow youto be a better worker, friend, partner, whatever your role is.

So I challenge you to do something nice for yourself today.  You will be amazed how much better you will feel!

Be Happy,

Suzanne

Hello everyone!

My question to you is what have you done for yourself today?  What have you done  for self care?  Self care is usually associated with health care providers but it really applies to anyone.  Self care is defined as doing things that recharge your mind, body, and soul.  This can be as simple as taking a few minutes alone to listen to a song that has meaning for you, petting your cat or dog, going for a walk, having your favorite chewing gum, ect....It is different for everyone.  Life is busy and often keeps us on the run with work, responsibilties, families, and of course our diabetes care.  Everyday you should take a few minutes and do what works for you to recharge your batteries!  Taking a few minutes each day to take care of yourself is not selfish, in fact, it is the opposite of selfish!  Taking care of yourself mentally will allow you to be a better worker, friend, partner, whatever your role is.

So I challenge you to do something nice for yourself today.  You will be amazed how much better you will feel!

Be Happy,

Suzanne

Hello everyone!

My question to you is what have you done for yourself today?  What have you done  for self care?  Self care is usually associated with health care providers but it really applies to anyone.  Self care is defined as doing things that recharge your mind, body, and soul.  This can be as simple as taking a few minutes alone to listen to a song that has meaning for you, petting your cat or dog, going for a walk, having your favorite chewing gum, ect....It is different for everyone.  Life is busy and often keeps us on the run with work, responsibilties, families, and of course our diabetes care.  Everyday you should take a few minutes and do what works for you to recharge your batteries!  Taking a few minutes each day to take care of yourself is not selfish, in fact, it is the opposite of selfish!  Taking care of yourself mentally will allow you to be a better worker, friend, partner, whatever your role is.

So I challenge you to do something nice for yourself today.  You will be amazed how much better you will feel!

Be Happy,

Suzanne

I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend I call "the angry diabetic."  Let me tell you a bit about this friend.  He is a smart, savvy guy with a BIG chip on his shoulder about his diabetes.  He is 40 years old and has had diabetes for about 30 years now.  He is a pumper yet does not carb count properly or test often enough.  He is always angry about anything going on in his life and usually he finds a way to blame diabetes for this anger.    Often he says it's not fair he has diabetes (I agree, it's not fair any of us have diabetes), diabetes holds him back (I disagree, he holds himself back in life), and being diabetic makes him a "loser."  In fact, he has told me more than once that all diabetics are losers.  I for one am no loser!  His negativity and anger about his diabetes colors his whole life and world.  It affects his relationships and his health (he often gets so angry at small things that his blood sugar shoots into the 300s which then makes him madder!).  

Yesterday I expressed my concerns to my friend.  I explained I wanted to be his friend but the negative attitude that he always has was wearing me down.  It bothered me to see him suffer.  He explained to me that he feels he has no control in his life because he is diabetic.  He is depressed most of the time.  He feels alone, like no one understands how he feels.  When we hang out, he gets angry if my blood sugar is in target and his is not.  He realizes that his depression is out of hand but feels hopeless, like things will never get better.  He acknowledges that his attitude about diabetes "sucks."

When I returned home, I started thinking about how much the attitude you have about your diabetes can shape how you live your life, as well as how much control you have in your diabetes care.  Diabetics are at risk for depression, just as anyone who deals with a chronic illness is.  Let's face it, having diabetes sucks.  It is not fun watching every morsel of food that you eat, logging, calculating insulin dosages, and sometimes having to stop doing something you enjoy because your blood sugar is low or high.  Even when you do everything right, sometimes your diabetes still does not cooperate!   Add depression to the day to day grind of diabetes and your attitude will do a downwards spiral!

You do have control about your attitude towards your diabetes, even if sometimes it doesn't feel that way.  A bad attitude puts you in a bad mood, setting you up for a bad day.  It becomes a vicious cycle like my friend is stuck in.  Does that mean you should be little miss/mister sunshine all the time?   No one can be super upbeat all the time, that is unrealistic!  It?s about balance and acceptance of diabetes.  If you are feeling like you have a bad attitude towards diabetes, reach out to others.  Talk to your doctor, friends, or family.  Speak to people online at social networking sites.  If you are feeling depressed, talk to your doctor immediately.  Depression can suck motivation and positive attitudes right out of you.

So what do you do to change your attitude to a more positive one?  Do you struggle with keeping a positive attitude?  What do people in your life do to help you keep a positive attitude?  I?d love to get your feedback!

Suzanne

PS-My friend is going to talk to his doctor about his antidepressant medication and he is considering going to therapy.  Let's keep our fingers crossed for him!